


my love, missing you is bittersweet

by Aberial_63



Series: Settling Down [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (but it isn't too bad), AU, Actor!Magnus, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hazel-Eyed Alec Lightwood, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Writer!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-15 21:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14798243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aberial_63/pseuds/Aberial_63
Summary: Magnus gets offered a new role in an upcoming movie. Alec and Magnus discover if distance really does make the heart grow fonder





	my love, missing you is bittersweet

**Author's Note:**

> Hey angels,
> 
> So this fic was supposed be around 4k words like the other two in this series, but I started writing it and it turned into this monster of a story with more than double the word count of the first two. I have a feeling you won't mind though :)

Sitting in Ragnor's office, Magnus couldn't help but think back on when he'd first come here as a no-name actor with barely a dollar to his name. It had been his first time to New York City and everything had seemed so big and exciting. He'd made his way through the jam-packed streets to the office of the ever-mysterious Ragnor Fell who had personally reached out to Magnus about signing him as a client. Magnus had been in shock as he'd settled down in the very same chair that he was sitting in now. Ragnor had made the whole ordeal as easy as possible for Magnus and offered to be his manager. He'd made promises to Magnus of A-list roles and jet-setting around the globe, of prestige and a hearty paycheck for merely doing what he loved. At the time, Magnus couldn't imagine anything better. After years of just barely making ends meet, this was his escape. This would be his opportunity to make all of his dreams come true. 

 

Ragnor had kept his promises. Nine years later and Magnus had a career that was worth being proud of. He'd been to fifteen different countries and he'd partied with society's elites to his heart's content. However, sometime during those nine years, something had changed. Magnus had grown tired of the glitz and the glam, grown tired of the publicity that came with his line of work. Magnus had become more of a homebody and he didn't need a constant thrill to make him feel alive. He was perfectly content to cuddle up with his boyfriend Alec on the couch, watch cheesy rom-coms, and trade lazy kisses until midnight. He didn't need the so-called perks of fame to make him feel fulfilled anymore. 

 

That's what was making his current predicament so difficult because he knew exactly which strings would be attached. 

 

"Magnus, my friend, are you still with me?"

 

Magnus blinked and shook himself out of his deliberations. 

 

"My apologies," Magnus chuckled. "I got lost in thought."

 

Ragnor smiled fondly at him. "Clearly. Anyway, what do you think? This movie could be really big for your career, Magnus. You've been flying under the radar for over a year and people are ready for a big comeback. This would be the perfect way to find your way back into the spotlight." 

 

"I don't know, Ragnor. It sounds amazing, especially since I get to use my dance background for once, and I've been dying to get back to work, but I'm not sure if I want to deal with everything else that comes with filming again. Life has been so, so good without the red carpet drama and publicity, without the never-ending cycle of interviews and meetings and appearances. And things with Alec are going so well since we moved in together last month. I'd hate to pack up and leave for four months right as we're finally getting settled in."

 

"If you're worried about the publicity, I will try to keep as much of it off of you as possible. If you just want to focus on the movie itself, I can make that happen. Obviously, there will be some events that are unavoidable, but if keeping a low profile matters to you, then I can make that happen. You needn't worry about the PR bullshit if it will make you unhappy."

 

Magnus nodded because that would be wonderful. Magnus' one true passion in life had always been acting. He would love nothing more than to act and not worry about everything else that he hated about his profession.

 

"And," Ragnor started again, "if you're worried about Alec, you shouldn't be. That boy would do anything for you. I'm certain he'd be willing to wait a few months for you so you could make this movie. He's already made it very clear he's not going anywhere, hasn't he?"

 

Magnus fiddled with the onyx ring on his index finger, an anniversary gift from his Alexander. It had been given alongside a shy smile and a sincere promise that he would stand by Magnus no matter what. 

 

"Yes," Magnus murmured with a sweet, fond ache in his chest. "He has made it extremely clear."

 

"Well, then you know everything will be just fine. If you need time to discuss it with him, that's fine. I can give you a few days, but the people from Paramount want your answer as soon as possible."

 

Magnus nodded and they both stood from their chairs. Magnus walked around the desk and pulled Ragnor into a firm hug 

 

"Thank you, cabbage," Magnus whispered. "For everything."

 

"Magnus, please let go. You know I hate physical affection."

 

"We both know that's a lie. You love it," Magnus teased as he felt Ragnor melt a little more into the embrace. "You've just been hanging out around Raphael for too long. He's a terrible influence."

 

Magnus drew back, shot one last smile at his friend, and left the office.

 

.

 

"Alexander, are you home?" Magnus called as he let himself into their loft. He knew Alec had been out to lunch with his mother earlier that afternoon and he had been unsure of how long it would last. 

 

There was no response as Magnus draped his jacket over the hook of the coatrack. He wandered into the living room and was met with an unbearably beautiful sight. 

 

Alec was leaning back on the couch with his clunky, noise-canceling headphones on and his laptop perched precariously on his knees. His brow was furrowed in concentration as his fingers flew over the keys as words undoubtedly spilled onto the page. Alec's hair was mussed and he was dressed in only a pair of old, worn-in sweatpants. Since they'd moved in together, Magnus couldn't count how many times he'd found Alec in this exact position. It made his heart pound each and every time. 

 

Magnus approached his boyfriend and Alec didn't even notice. When he was really into his writing, the rest of the world might as well have not existed for Alec. He became utterly and adorably oblivious to everyone and everything around him. Magnus knelt down on the ground beside Alec and reached out to smooth the crease between Alec's eyes. Alec jumped in surprise but quickly beamed when he realized Magnus was there. He pulled off his headphones.

 

"If you keep this up, you're going to get wrinkles, Alexander," Magnus chastised. "Not that I would mind. You'd still be unfairly gorgeous."

 

Alec blushed and dropped his eyes. Magnus still didn't understand how Alec could be so unaware of his own attractiveness. 

 

"Shut up," Alec laughed. 

 

"I wish I could, sweetheart. Unfortunately for you, I like to hear myself talk too much to shut up and you're far too pretty for me to  _ not  _ talk about it."

 

He shook his head at Magnus for a moment before putting his computer on the coffee table. Magnus took that as an invitation to climb into Alec's lap and settle onto his hips. 

 

"Are you comfortable?" Alec asked from his reclined position. 

 

"Very," Magnus responded as he leaned in for a kiss. 

 

Alec smiled against his lips and drew nonsense patterns against Magnus's back with soft fingers. Magnus braced himself against Alec's bare chest and was calmed by the steady beat of Alec's heart under his palm.  

 

Magnus was certain that this was the best part of living with Alec. He got to come home everyday to the love of his life and time could slow down a little bit. He could breathe easy and exist in this little bubble of domestic bliss that they'd built for themselves. 

 

After a minute or so, Alec pulled back with dazed and dreamy eyes. He rested a hand against Magnus' forearm and rubbed it absently with his thumb. 

 

"Hi," he said quietly. 

 

"Hello, angel," Magnus replied just as quietly.  

 

"How was your meeting, baby? What did Ragnor need?"  

 

Just like that, the unpleasantness from earlier twisted again in Magnus' gut. He sighed and a frown tugged at his lips. As always, Alec could read him like an open book. 

 

"Well, that doesn't look good," Alec said warily. 

 

"I got offered a part in a new movie," Magnus revealed. 

 

Alec's face lit up excitedly. "Hey, that's great news, Magnus! What's it about?" 

 

Apparently, didn't see how this could possibly be a bad thing. He only seemed to feel genuine happiness and pride over Magnus' opportunity. 

 

"A dancer who grew up in poverty. I know, it's perfect, right? It's basically my origin story." Magnus cut himself off with a dark chuckle. 

 

"You'd be great in that part, Magnus. I don't understand why you're not more excited."

 

Magnus let out a weary breath. He moved his hand to grip at Alec's shoulder. 

 

"In the whole time that we've been together, I haven't worked on a movie so this probably hasn't even occurred to you, but Alec, I have to be on set for months at a time. If I do this movie, I'll be shooting in Toronto for nearly four months."

 

The smile fell from Alec's lips. 

 

"Oh."

 

"Exactly.  _ Oh.  _ We wouldn't see each other for  _ four months _ , Alexander. We are doing so well right now and I don't want to ruin it by leaving you alone."

 

Magnus didn't know what he'd do if he lost Alec because the distance was too hard. Despite how safe Alec made him feel, there was still a nagging, insistent part of his brain that told him he wasn't worth the wait. It told him that Alec would never want to wait around for him to come home.

 

"Magnus," Alec said slowly, "I'm not going to give up on us just because you aren't around for a few months. We aren't going to fall apart because you want to do something that matters to you. You understand that I love you too much to let that happen, don't you?" 

 

Magnus swallowed harshly. "I understand that you believe that, but–"

 

"Stop," Alec ordered and Magnus immediately went quiet. "There are no 'buts'. I love you more than anything in the world, Magnus Bane. I would wait for four months or four years for you to come back to me. This, us, isn't going away. You don't need to be afraid that you're going to lose me, because I'm not ever leaving if you don't ask me to. Got it?"

 

Magnus sucked in a stuttering breath, but he nodded. Alec's words were a cooling salve to the scars of past abandonment that had chosen this moment to flare up painfully. Too many people had left him before for him to not worry about Alec leaving too. But Alec wasn't like them and he wouldn't hurt Magnus like they had. 

 

He leaned forward and pressed kisses against Alec's shoulder and neck, if only to distract himself from the overwhelming urge to cry at the love in Alec's words. 

 

"We'll figure it out," Alec went on. "We'll call and Skype and we'll talk all the time. I'll send you letters by pigeon if that's what it takes."

 

Magnus laughed against Alec's neck and pressed a final kiss to his skin before moving back to look into his lover's hazel eyes. They looked brilliant in the late afternoon light. 

 

"We'll figure it out?"  Magnus asked, needing one last reassurance. 

 

"Of course we will."

 

.

 

"Magnus, come on. You need to get up, baby."

 

Magnus shied away from the insistent hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes tighter and turned away from Alec. 

 

"No, leave me alone," Magnus whined petulantly. 

 

"You have a plane to catch. You need to get up."

 

Magnus opened his eyes just a bit to glance at the clock. It was 5:00 a.m. and the sun hadn't even begun its journey across the sky yet. 

 

"No, Alexander, no one needs to get up at this ungodly hour. It is time for sleep and cuddles. Right now, you are giving me neither so I need you to go away."

 

Magnus pulled the blankets over his head and groaned. He'd barely slept at all last night, too busy nervously working through the idea that he was leaving in the morning, and he needed to rest now. 

 

Alec sighed from behind him. 

 

"Fine, I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice."

 

Before Magnus even knew what was happening, the downy comforter was being roughly yanked away. The cold air shocked Magnus' body and he immediately started to shiver. 

 

Magnus flipped over to glare angrily at Alec, who was still holding the precious blanket in his hands. He smirked at Magnus and the twinkle in his eye made it clear that he found the whole situation far too amusing. 

 

"Is this funny to you, Lightwood? Do you enjoy tormenting your poor, freezing, helpless boyfriend, you sadistic bastard?"

 

"It's a little funny," Alec admitted. 

 

Magnus sneered at him for a moment longer before huffing out a breath and collapsing back onto the mattress. He pulled his knees to his chest and cursed himself for only wearing a pair of silky maroon boxers to bed. 

 

The mattress shifted as Alec scooted closer to him. Magnus bit his lip to keep from breaking into a grin when Alec began to shower his back and shoulders with sweet little kisses. 

 

"Don't kiss me," Magnus said with a faux edge to his voice. "What you've done is inexcusable, absolutely unforgivable. I'm going to divorce you once I'm done sleeping."

 

Warm breath spilled onto Magnus' back as Alec chuckled.

 

"We're not married, Magnus," Alec whispered as he ducked into the crook of his neck to nip at Magnus' skin. "You can't divorce me."

 

"Well, then I'm going to marry you just so I can divorce you right after."

 

"Don't you think that's a bit dramatic?"

 

Alec tugged at Magnus' arm and Magnus rolled over onto his back to face him. He couldn't keep the smile from his face any longer when he stared up at Alec. It was impossible to frown when Alec's eyes were crinkled with delight and his cheeks were a tender shade of pink and he was looking at Magnus like he was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. 

 

Magnus shrugged. "Did you expect me to  _ not _ be dramatic when you so violently dragged me into the world of the awake? Honestly, Alexander, you had to know this was coming."

 

Alec laughed as he moved to hover over Magnus, caging Magnus in with his arms. Magnus definitely did not appreciate the way his biceps bulged with the effort. Definitely not.

 

"Fair enough," Alec acquiesced as he trailed his lips over Magnus' collarbone. The tight and familiar curl of desire sprung up in Magnus' gut. He went blissfully boneless as Alec's mouth moved down down down. "Maybe I can make it up to you?"

 

"You can definitely try," Magnus sighed when Alec fingered at the hem of his boxers. 

 

Many, many minutes later, Alec fell down onto the sheets beside an overwhelmed and wonderfully sated Magnus. If Alec had been trying to wake him up, his plan was going to fail. After all of that, all Magnus wanted to do was snuggle up to Alec and stay there for hours. 

 

"I take it all back," Magnus panted. "I'm not stupid enough to divorce someone who is that good in bed."

 

Alec giggled giddily as he moved so his head rested on Magnus' chest. He ran idle fingers along the expanse of Magnus' abdomen. 

 

"We've gone over this. You can't divorce me if we aren't even married."

 

Magnus looked down at the man in his bed. Every piece of his heart ached with a fondness for Alec. Magnus didn't know what he'd done to deserve Alexander Lightwood, but he was awfully glad he'd done it. After learning and loving him for over a year, Magnus couldn't imagine a world without him. 

 

He reached out to fix a stray lock of hair that had fallen onto Alec's forehead. 

 

"Not yet we aren't. All in due time, my love." 

 

The sudden hitch in Alec's breath made Magnus realize exactly what he'd said. He hadn't meant to be so bold, but he couldn't deny that he meant it. One day, he was going to marry this man. Alec's eyes had gone warm and honeyed and, if Magnus was reading his lover correctly, the sentiment was not one-sided. 

 

They both leaned in, almost instinctively, to share a lingering and slow kiss. It was so much more than just a gentle back and forth of lips, more than sharing the same space or breathing the same air, more than two hearts beating in absolute harmony. It was everything they couldn't quite put into words and everything that didn't need to be said aloud because they both already knew.  _ I love you. You are my soulmate. I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.  _

 

Magnus pulled away, but only enough to be able to look into Alec's eyes for a quiet moment. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to spend four months away from these eyes in all their divinity, their soulful loveliness. He didn't want his imperfect memory to sully their perfection in his mind. 

 

"You have to start getting ready, Magnus. You really do have a plane to catch," Alec said softly. It was hardly even a whisper.   

 

Magnus couldn't get himself to say anything in response and decided a nod would have to be enough. He stroked Alec's cheek affectionately before forcing himself to stand and head for the shower. 

 

He tried his best to make his routine as short as possible. Magnus tried to justify it by telling himself that it was only because there was no reason to dress up for a flight, but he knew deep down that the real reason was that he wanted to spend as much time as humanly possible with Alec. He wanted to soak up the little amount of time he had left before braving the desert that stretched out before them. 

 

After half an hour, he emerged clothed in skinny jeans and one of Alec's cozy NYU sweatshirts. Alec, the ever-sweet and thoughtful boyfriend that he was, was waiting for Magnus with a mug of steaming coffee and toast slathered with the strawberry jam they'd picked up from the farmers' market the previous weekend. 

 

Magnus reached for his meal greedily and moaned when he took a sip of the coffee. 

 

"Alexander," he drawled, "I swear you put cocaine in this stuff. I don't know how you manage to make such good coffee but it is amazing."

 

"It's a gift," Alec explained around a mouthful of toast. Magnus scrunched up his nose.

 

"I know Maryse taught you better than to speak with your mouth full," Magnus chastised. "It's gross."

 

Alec rolled his eyes and swallowed. "You love me, bad habits and all."

 

Magnus leaned in for a quick, strawberry-flavored kiss. 

 

"I do."

 

Alec smiled into his mug, gazing at Magnus over the rim. 

 

"So, are you taking my sweatshirt with you to Toronto?" Alec asked conversationally.

 

"Obviously. I need some memento to remember you by. God knows I'd forget all about you otherwise."

 

Alec glared playfully. 

 

Magnus gestured airily, but gave in. "Okay maybe it's also because it smells like you. Don't judge me." 

 

"I would never," Alec scoffed. "Despite the fact that it is slightly pathetic."

 

Magnus guffawed inelegantly and shook his head at Alec. He really could be the littlest shit sometimes. Magnus loved it. 

 

"Hey, I think I deserve to be a little pathetic. I'm going to be hundreds of miles away from my boyfriend for four months. This sweatshirt will be my only connection to you."

 

"You say that as if we don't already have a scheduled nightly Skype call, which we do. We're going to talk everyday, babe. It's not exactly gonna be radio silence for four straight months."

 

Magnus sighed theatrically. "Talking over the phone is not the same as holding you in my arms, my dearest Alexander. This purple, fraying college sweatshirt with chocolate ice cream stains on the sleeve will be the only thing to bring me comfort during the long nights in my cold, empty bed. I need it."

 

Alec smiled in that small, private way he only did when he was with Magnus. 

 

"You're ridiculous," he chuckled. 

 

"And you love it," Magnus retorted. 

 

Alec reached out and tangled their hands together on top of the table. 

 

"I do."

 

The rest of their breakfast passed by in comfortable quiet, only to be interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.

 

"That must be Raphael," Alec commented as he started to clean up their dishes. 

 

Right on time, Magnus' friend and bodyguard pounded on the door again and called, "Your ass better be out of bed, Bane! Ragnor will murder you with his bare hands if we miss this flight because you were too busy canoodling with Alec!"

 

" _ Canoodling,"  _ Magnus mouthed at Alec with an exaggerated eye roll. Alec merely shook his head and started loading up the dishwasher. He made his way to the door and opened it with a suave shoulder sway. 

 

"Good morning to you too," Magnus greeted as Raphael pushed past him into the apartment. 

 

"Are you ready?" Raphael asked gruffly. 

 

"As ready as I'll ever be, you grouch. Just give me a moment to say goodbye. Be a dear and go grab my bags from the bedroom?"

 

"Last I checked I was your bodyguard, not your butler," Raphael muttered before making his way to the bedroom anyway. 

 

Magnus smiled after him for a second before turning towards the kitchen. Alec was already waiting for him, leaning back against the countertop and watching Magnus with sad eyes. 

 

"If you keep looking at me like that, I'm never going to be able to leave," Magnus quipped in an attempt to lighten the mood. The room felt like it was closing in on him now that he could no longer pretend that he wasn't leaving in a minute or so. 

 

"Would that be such a bad thing?" Alec asked in a rush. Magnus felt his heart break a little more. Alec cringed and shook his head. "I'm sorry. That wasn't fair. I want you to go."

 

Magnus couldn't suppress the spark of amusement in his chest and he couldn't stop himself from teasing Alec just a little. 

 

"You want me to leave?" Magnus asked with mock offense. He moved to stand closer to Alec.

 

Alec's eyes went wide. "No! That's not- I just meant-"

 

"What  _ did  _ you mean?" Magnus queried.

 

Alec picked up on his tone and laughed quietly. "You're pulling my leg," he realized aloud.

 

"You make it too easy, darling."

 

Alec reached out for Magnus and pulled him into a hug. Magnus melted into his embrace, unable to picture a place he'd rather be. He breathed in deeply and savored the smell of citrusy soap and something else that was purely Alec that lingered on his skin. He took one last moment to memorize the unyielding way Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' body and the soothing, rhythmic glide of Alec's thumb against his shoulder. 

 

"What I was going to say," Alec whispered, "was that I'm going to miss you. I'm going to miss you so much."

 

Magnus shivered at the despair in Alec's voice. He hated this so much, no matter how much he wanted to do this job. He hated that he had to leave Alec behind in favor of a far-away city and an abundance of strangers.  

 

"I'm going to miss you too, sweetheart. You have no idea."

 

Magnus withdrew from the hug just enough that he could press his lips against Alec's. This one touch would have to be enough of a goodbye. 

 

"I love you, Alexander," Magnus said against Alec's mouth. That was the truest thing Magnus had ever said.

 

"I love you too, Magnus. With everything I am, I love you."

 

The words cut through to the most vulnerable part of Magnus' heart. It shattered instantly at the sincerity in Alec's confession. 

 

"You're going to make me cry," Magnus chuckled mirthlessly. "I guess this is what I get for dating a writer. Beautiful words may be too much for this old heart of mine."

 

Alec kissed the tip of Magnus' nose affectionately. 

 

"It's all your fault. You picked me."

 

"And I don't regret it one bit."

 

"That's very good to hear," Alec replied with a kiss to Magnus' cheek. 

 

Magnus admired Alec in silence for a few moments until a throat was cleared from the door. 

 

"I hate to break this up," Raphael said, "but we need to head out, Magnus."

 

Despite how prickly Raphael could be, he did look genuinely apologetic. 

 

"Okay," Magnus sighed. He turned back to Alec. "I'll call you tonight?"

 

"You better," Alec said with a halfhearted smile. 

 

Magnus knew if he stayed much longer he'd never get himself to leave. He just had to get the goodbye over with. He needed to walk out the door and not look back. Unfortunately, that seemed impossible at the moment. 

 

Of course, Alec knew exactly what Magnus was feeling and he knew exactly how to make this easier. 

 

He took Magnus' hand and led him to the door. Raphael stepped out ahead of them and Alec gently nudged Magnus over the threshold of the loft. He pressed a kiss against Magnus' ringed knuckles before untangling their fingers. 

 

"I'll talk to you later, Magnus," Alec promised. "Text me when you land, alright?"

 

Magnus nodded and Alec placed a kiss to Magnus' forehead. Alec quickly moved away because he knew Magnus didn't have the heart to do it himself. 

 

After one final longing look, Alec stepped back into the apartment and closed the door behind him with a barely audible  _ click _ .

 

.

 

_ M: Just landed in Toronto, my love...Already missing you dearly. I can't wait to hear your voice again. It's already fading from my memory... _

 

_ A: It's been three hours you idiot _

 

_ M: Three hours too many, if you ask me _

 

_ A: I guess I kinda miss you too  _

 

_ M: Oh gee thanks. Loving the enthusiasm here, Alexander _

 

_ A: <3 _

 

_ M: <3 _

 

_. _

 

Almost immediately after leaving the airport, Magnus was bombarded with a series of very unfortunate events. 

 

First, it'd somehow been leaked to the media that Magnus would arrive in Toronto that day and the paparazzi had shown up. While Magnus understood the importance of them to his own personal career, he couldn't help but be peeved when they made it much harder than it should have been to get to his car. 

 

Then, because of course nothing could ever go smoothly, his sedan broke down on the way to the film studio where he was meant to be having a meeting with the movie's director and the crew. The car was stuck on the side of the road for nearly an hour in the blazing July afternoon heat. Magnus sweat off a great deal of his makeup because he'd neglected to use setting spray in his rush to get ready this morning. As a result of the setback, Magnus was forced to have his meeting via a conference call. He was sat on the side of a highway with his phone on speaker and hastily writing notes about his schedule on a pad of paper that was balanced on his knee.

 

Once the car was finally towed and he was in a cab on the way to his apartment, there was a traffic back up that took nearly forty-five minutes to get through. 

 

Finally, to top it all off, Magnus was informed upon his arrival that his apartment complex was having some plumbing issues and the water had been shut off. He wouldn't be able to wash off this godawful day for at least another two hours.

 

Of course, as he recounted this all to Alec later that night, the jackass laughed the whole way through it. 

 

"You know, some sympathy would be appreciated, Alexander," Magnus grumbled. 

 

"I'm sorry, baby, but you have to admit that this is fucking hilarious."

 

"Yeah, fucking hilarious."

 

Magnus saw Alec's demeanor shift on his laptop screen. 

 

"Hey, for real, I'm sorry today sucked. Good news is that it can only go up from here. You're there now and the worst part is behind you. Now, you just have to do what you do best: act your heart out. Dance like nobody's watching. This is the easy part."

 

Magnus sighed and put his head in his hands. He breathed in slowly and forced himself to let go of the frustration that ran hot under his skin. He couldn't go into this process with a bad attitude. One terrible day was not an omen of warning or indicative of the rest of his time here. It was just a little bit of bad luck. He could still make this movie a positive experience overall. 

 

"As always, you're right. I'm just stressed out and I really need some sleep. I think it's fair to say that this day has been thoroughly exhausting."

 

"It's more than fair," Alec agreed. "I can let you go if you want to-"

 

"No," Magnus interjected. "Not just yet. Stay for a few more minutes."

 

Alec looked up at Magnus from under lowered lashes. His smile was beautiful even when it was grainy due to a shitty connection. 

 

"Okay," he said. 

 

Magnus just watched him for a moment. It was getting late and Alec was obviously ready for bed. He looked adorable in his rumpled flannel pajama bottoms and a shirt that looked suspiciously like one of Magnus' few plain henley's that he saved for comfy days at home. Everything about Alec looked so calming and familiar. Magnus wasn't sure how he was supposed to go to bed without Alec's soothing presence beside him. 

 

"How many days until I get to come home?" Magnus lamented. 

 

"One hundred seventeen," Alec answered immediately. Magnus raised his eyebrows at how fast he'd known that. "I may or may not have made a countdown on my phone."

 

"Of course you did," Magnus laughed. Honestly, the whole thought of Alec counting down the days until they saw each other was simultaneously extremely endearing and utterly heart-wrenching.  

 

They talked for another five minutes about how Isabelle had dragged Alec out shopping and how she had forced him to buy only t-shirts that were any color except black. Magnus mentioned the cute little kid on the plane who had asked for his autograph. 

 

Magnus yawned and Alec took that as a sign that they should probably hang up. 

 

"Go to bed, Magnus. You have a busy day tomorrow and you need your rest."

 

Alec was right. By that point, Magnus was barely keeping his eyes open. He knew he'd pass out if he stayed there listening to Alec's deep, relaxing voice for much longer. 

 

"Alright, angel. I'll go. I love you."

 

"I love you too. So much."

 

Magnus' heart swelled in his chest. Even after a year together, he still got butterflies in his stomach when Alec said he loved him. 

 

"Goodnight, Alexander," Magnus said quietly. 

 

"Goodnight, Magnus."

 

.

 

The next day went decidedly better. Magnus finally made it to set for a tour and a round of greetings with the crew. He met his costars, Meliorn and Aline, and he knew they would all get along just fine. Meliorn was eccentric, but he had this air of eternal calm that would make working with him a breeze. Aline was warm and charming and had a sharp tongue that rivaled his own. She reminded Magnus of Alec in some ways and he decided he would introduce them one day in the future. 

 

Magnus had forgotten how exciting it was to be on a new set. Their was something electric in the air as everyone waited to begin shooting. Bringing a story to life when it had such potential to touch people's hearts was magical, in a way. Magnus found everything from the initial table read to his first step into his trailer absolutely thrilling.

 

Even with how much he loved it, it still was tiring. With all of the rushing around and busy schedules, Magnus forgot to sit down and breathe for a moment. He got so swept up that he couldn't even remember if he'd stopped to eat anything during the day. By the time he reached the elevator to his apartment, Magnus was dead on his feet and craving a slice of greasy New York style pizza. 

 

Magnus was so tired that he almost didn't notice the big, cardboard-boxed package sitting in front of his door. He eyed it curiously, but picked it up before entering his temporary home. 

 

Immediately, he eagerly tore into the box. When he saw its contents, Magnus couldn't help but break into a grin. 

 

The first thing he saw was a blanket and a little stuffed teddy bear. Beside them sat a box of chocolates, a bottle of Magnus' favorite red wine, and a stack of drug store detoxifying face masks. The more Magnus dug through the box, the more of the little gifts he found. A box of chamomile tea. Magnus' favorite poetry book. A few bottles of sparkly nail polish. 

 

Magnus noticed the plush bear had a slip of paper tied to its arm. He reached out, untied the paper, and cuddled the bear to his chest as he read the message.  

 

_ Magnus, _

 

_ Day One was hard. I hope Day Two was better. And if it wasn't, here are a few things that might help.   _

 

_ Yours forever, _

 

_ Alec  _

 

Magnus felt a joyful tear streak down his cheek. Magnus wasn't sure how his chest managed to contain the adoration he felt for Alexander in that moment. Everything about him was so kind and so generous and so wonderful. 

 

After wiping the tears from his face, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He dialed the one number he knew by heart.

 

"I love you," Magnus blurted out as soon as Alec answered the phone.

 

"Well, hello to you too," Alec laughed. 

 

"You are my favorite person on this whole planet and I don't think I could ever tell you that enough. Fuck, I really fucking love you, Alexander Lightwood."

 

When Alec answered, his voice was low and tender. It was the same voice he used when they woke up together, when he whispered into the golden morning air. It was the voice he used when they were in a crowded room, but he was staring at Magnus like he was the only other person there. It was the voice he used in between soft, slow kisses that made the world disappear. 

 

"I really fucking love you too, Magnus Bane."

 

Magnus let those words hang in the air for a moment, savoring the way they wrapped around him like a hug. 

 

"You didn't need to send me all this stuff," Magnus said finally. 

 

"Of course I didn't need to do this. I wanted to. Usually, when you're upset, I can hold you and kiss you until you feel better. Since I can't exactly do that now, I wanted to do something to make you smile again."

 

"Well, you certainly achieved your goal, darling," Magnus replied, reaching up to touch his grinning lips. "I have a question though. How on earth did you pull this together and get it to Canada in under twenty-four hours?"

 

Alec chuckled. "I may or may not have texted a grocery list to Ragnor at midnight last night with a sincere promise to pay him back in full plus interest."

 

Magnus threw his head back and laughed gleefully. "So that's why Ragnor was late to set today! He was running errands for you!"

 

They stayed on the line for a few more minutes until Alec said he had to leave. He had to go to drinks with Luke, his editor, and he still needed to get dressed. Alec promised to be home in time for their Skype call later that night before hanging up. 

 

When Magnus settled on the couch a little while later, he still had the teddy bear clutched in his hands like it was the most precious thing in the world. 

 

.

 

It wasn't until around Day Thirty-Two that the real impact of the distance started to set in. Up until then, Magnus had always been rushing around. He raced from table-reads to costume fittings to dance rehearsals to cast dinners. Magnus was constantly busy and he didn't really get a chance to notice how much he missed Alec. Obviously, he'd felt it before then. It would strike him when he wanted to hold Alec's hand but they were separated by a screen or when he drank his coffee alone in the morning. However, Magnus was so preoccupied with his obligations that he could put it on the back burner most of the time in favor of working. 

 

On the night of Day Thirty-Two, though, Magnus was hit by it full force. Usually, he was too tired at night to do much more than pass out as soon as he hit the mattress, but things were starting to slow down on set as they settled into a routine and Magnus wasn't drained that night like he normally was. He didn't fall asleep right away. That meant he had time to lay there and think about the emptiness of his bed. 

 

Magnus ached to wrap his arms around his lover and pull him to his chest. There was something so comforting about curling up to Alec's back and pressing kisses against his shoulders until they both fell asleep. It was almost like a reminder that Alec was actually real, actually his. That night, Magnus felt alone like he hadn't felt in years. There was a gaping hole behind his ribs that was raw and throbbing. With every thought of Alec, the fabric of his heart tore just a little more. 

 

It was nearly one o'clock and Magnus just couldn't get himself to sleep. He'd tried everything. He'd read for a little bit, but he'd found it hard to focus and he'd put his book down rather quickly. He'd tried to watch a movie on his laptop, but he'd barely comprehended what was happening. Magnus had even tried having a bit of wine to calm him down (which probably wasn't a great idea given his current emotional state). Nothing had helped him sleep. Now, Magnus could admit to himself what he really needed. He needed Alec. Magnus needed his arms, his lips, his hands. He needed Alec's little snores and the reassuring rise and fall of his chest. He needed the warmth of his skin and the endearing way that he pressed himself as close to Magnus as he could possibly get. He needed Alec. 

 

Out of equal parts desperation and longing, Magnus grabbed his phone.  

 

_ M: Are you awake? _

 

Magnus sighed and let his phone rest on his chest. He knew it was a long shot, but he really wanted to feel connected to Alec right then. He was lonely and cold in a way only Alec knew how to fix.

 

His phone buzzed less than a minute later. 

 

_ A: Yeah. Is everything okay _

 

Magnus smiled, but it was weak.

 

_ M: Just really feeling all 496 miles tonight _

 

_ A: I know what you mean. Can I call you _

 

_ M: Please do  _

 

Almost immediately after Magnus had pressed send, his phone was ringing. Magnus answered instantly.

 

"Hi," Alec whispered into the phone. 

 

"Hi," Magnus replied. 

 

"Can't sleep?"

 

"No. I miss you too much."

 

Magnus cringed at how needy that sounded, but it was the truth. The heartache wouldn't let him rest. 

 

"I miss you too, baby. Our bed seems so much colder without you. You're like a space heater."

 

Magnus laughed quietly. "I am not. I am an averagely warm human being. You're just a man-shaped ice box."

 

"Whatever you say, Magnus."

 

Magnus sighed before shifting to lay on his side. He sadly eyed the place that, if he were home, Alec would have been. 

 

"How many days?" 

 

"Eighty-five," Alec said with a yawn. 

 

"Are you tired?" 

 

"Just a little. Don't worry about me."

 

"I always worry about you, Alexander. I'm your boyfriend. That's my job."

 

Magnus could imagine how the corner of Alec's lips flicked upwards at that. 

 

"I'm okay. I promise. I want to keep talking to you."

 

"Alright," Magnus murmured. 

 

And talk they did. Magnus could tell that Alec was rambling on about everything from the episode of Law & Order: SVU he'd watched before bed to what he'd had for dinner entirely for Magnus' benefit. He understood that it was comforting for Magnus to hear his voice. If Magnus closed his eyes, he could pretend that Alec was under the covers beside him and they were talking like they always did at night. 

 

Slowly, the conversation started to drift off. Magnus made fewer comments as his eyes grew heavy and sleep's pull made it harder for Alec to find things to say. 

 

"I can hang up, Alexander. You're falling asleep."

 

"No," Alec said. "I'll stay until you're asleep. I want to make sure you get your rest."

 

Surely enough, after five minutes of lazy conversation, Magnus' eyes closed and he let sleep take hold.

 

.

 

"Listen, all I'm saying is that Magnus is a better dancer than Patrick Sawyze."

 

Magnus grinned. "When you're right, you're right, sweetheart."

 

"Alec, I'm not gonna argue with you!" Isabelle protested. "I simply said that Swayze had moves and that he'd be more than welcome to show me them sometime."

 

"Hey!" Clary gasped. "First of all, he died like ten years ago. He's not showing anybody anything. Second of all, I'm right here!"

 

"I love you, babe, but you dance like you've got tree trunks for arms. No fluidity whatsoever."

 

Clary pouted and Isabelle leaned over to kiss her frown away. 

 

"It's okay, Clary. Alec can't dance either. You're not alone in this."

 

Alec glared for a second before pausing and nodding. "You know what, that's extremely fair."

 

It was Day Sixty-Four and Magnus had been feeling painfully homesick lately. Alec had made the suggestion that they watch a movie together over Skype. In their respective cities, both of their TV's started playing Dirty Dancing. Sometime during the evening, Clary, Izzy, Simon, and Maia had invited themselves over to the loft and stayed to watch the movie with them. Magnus had to admit that it was nice to see all his friends again. They were lively and fun and made Magnus feel like he was back in New York.

 

"Alec," Simon called before chucking a pillow at him.

 

"What the hell, Lewis?"

 

"We're out of popcorn."

 

"And you thought the best way to tell me that was to launch a projectile at my head?"

 

"They're called throw pillows for a reason, Lightwood. Now, can you go get some more?"

 

Alec glowered at him for a moment, but he got up from the couch and stalked towards the kitchen. 

 

"Thanks, best friend!" Simon yelled. 

 

"Maia's my best friend," Alec retorted as he made more popcorn. 

 

Maia cackled. "Damn right I am!"

 

Simon frowned before turning to address Magnus. "I'm his  _ real  _ best friend, right, Magnus?"

 

Magnus sucked in a breath. "I'm afraid I can't reveal that information. Spousal privilege, and all."

 

"Spousal privilege?" Izzy chimed in. "Is there something you two haven't been telling us?"

 

"Yeah, did you guys elope and not tell us?" Maia asked. "I mean I wouldn't be surprised, but still, not cool."

 

There was a round of chattering agreements from the rest of the group. Magnus let them go on, neither confirming nor denying anything until Alec returned to the living room. 

 

"What's going on?" Alec asked suspiciously as he deposited the bowl of popcorn in Simon's lap. 

 

"Did you and Magnus get married and then neglect to inform your best friends?" Clary asked with and accusatory note to her voice. 

 

Alec groaned as he squished himself on to the couch with his sister and her girlfriend. 

 

"Magnus, stop saying we're married. We aren't married, guys."

 

"Yet," Magnus added to Alec's statement. "We aren't married  _ yet,  _ you big love bug." 

 

Alec smiled fondly at him and his cheeks went rosy. Magnus was glad to see that he still seemed to be just as interested in the idea of marriage as he had been back in July. 

 

"He's blushing," Isabelle cooed. 

 

"Aww, Alec, that's so-" Simon got cut off by a pillow to the face. 

 

"They're called throw pillows for a reason, Lewis," Alec parroted back smugly. 

 

Maia laughed and fist bumped Alec. "Nice one, best friend."

 

"Thanks, best friend."

 

Simon let out a cry to object but everyone shushed him. 

 

The rest of the movie passed in relative peace. Simon and Alec made snarky commentary at varying intervals throughout the movie, but the conversation didn't go much farther than that. 

 

Eventually, the movie ended and the group decided it was time to head out. They said their goodbyes to Magnus before letting Alec escort them to the door. Magnus couldn't hear much of what was said, but he did catch Maia reminding Alec about going out for birthday drinks. Of course, Alec's birthday was next week. 

 

Alec came back and interrupted his train of thought.

 

"Hey," he greeted as he flopped on to the couch. 

 

"Hey yourself," Magnus smiled halfheartedly. "So, your birthday is next week, exactly seven days from now if I'm not mistaken."

 

"Yeah, it is."

 

Magnus bit his lip grimly as he thought about it. 

 

"I'm sorry I won't be there to celebrate with you, Alexander. You know I would be if I could."

 

Alec furrowed his brow. "What? No, don't be sorry, babe. I understand that you have responsibilities up there."

 

"I know I need to be here, but I wish I could be with you."

 

"Honestly, it's fine, Magnus. I don't mind."

 

"Okay, but-" Magnus stopped when an idea popped into his head. It was crazy and probably unrealistic, but Magnus was instantly caught up in it. The whole notion was romantic and intoxicating and Magnus knew he wouldn't be able to let it go. 

 

"But?" Alec prompted. Magnus shook himself out of his planning. 

 

"But, since I can't be there, I'll just have to send you the best present you'll ever get in your life. Deal?"

 

Alec beamed at him. "Deal."

 

.

 

Day Seventy-One was making Magnus feel jittery and antsy. He shifted the bouquet of roses from one hand to another as the elevator climbed the floors with at a tortoise's pace. He needed something to let out the nervous energy that zipped under his skin.

 

When Magnus had realized he wouldn't be able to see Alec on his birthday, it had made him almost sick with guilt. Alec was his first priority and it felt wrong to not be there for him. Unfortunately, Magnus knew he couldn't use his boyfriend's birthday as a real excuse to get off of work, no matter how much it meant to him. 

 

Once he'd realized this, the solution to his dilemma had become obvious. Magnus wasn't a fan of lying, but in a situation like this, he could make an exception. A little white lie was well worth a much-needed visit to Alexander. 

 

Magnus walked up to their front door and knocked, anticipation curling pleasantly in his gut. Magnus heard footsteps approaching from the other side of the door and he forced himself to school his expression into something cool and collected. 

 

When the door swung open, it took a conscious effort to keep his heart from pounding right out of his chest. 

 

_ Alexander.  _

 

Oh, Magnus had almost forgotten how much better Alec was in person. The grainy, late night video chats were nothing compared to the beauty of Alec standing right in from of him. A laptop screen could never do justice to the sparkle in his eyes, the feathery wisps of hair that fell onto his forehead, or the way his scratchy stubble darkened his jaw. It could never capture the smell of his heady cologne or the tingling sensation that passed from him to Magnus when they stood this close. 

 

Alec was gaping at him, at an utter loss for words. 

 

Magnus leaned casually against the doorframe, flowers held up in front of him.

 

"Hey, gorgeous," Magnus purred. "A little birdie told me it was your birthday."

 

"Magnus," Alec breathed. "You're here?"

 

"In the flesh, darling."

 

Alec sputtered uselessly for a moment, but it seemed the shock was starting to wear off and a smile was creeping on to his face. 

 

"How are you here?"

 

"I took a plane. Modern transportation really is quite a marvel, Alexander."

 

Alec looked unimpressed. "You know that's not what I meant."

 

"Fine," Magnus drawled as he fiddled with his silver ear cuff, "let's just say that as far as the studio knows, I'm currently on my bathroom floor in Toronto puking up last night's enchiladas and far too ill to make it to set for at least another two days." 

 

Alec choked out a bewildered laugh. "You faked food poisoning to come home for my birthday?"

 

"You bet your fantastic ass I did. Now, are you done interrogating me? Because I'm still waiting for a proper greeting after seventy-one days of not seeing you."

 

Alec's mouth split into a brilliant grin. Magnus couldn't hide the hitch in his breath when Alec stepped into his space, cradling Magnus' face between his hands. Magnus melted at the feel of those familiar calloused fingertips against his cheeks. He tried to push closer to Alec, but the red roses were captured between their bodies.

 

Alec chuckled and gazed down at the delicate buds. "Are those for me?"

 

"No, they're for Isabelle. Please make sure she gets them, won't you, dear?"

 

Alec smacked Magnus' shoulder playfully. 

 

"Of course they're for you, Alexander."

 

Alec took the flowers from Magnus, admired them for a moment, and then tossed them carelessly onto the side table next to the door. 

 

"Hey, I paid good money for those. Be caref-"

 

"Magnus, shut up and kiss me," Alec interrupted, an intimate tone of affection laced through the command that tempered any abruptness. 

 

Alec didn't need to tell him twice. Magnus closed the distance immediately, lips clashing urgently with Alec's. Kissing Alec again was rain to a desert. Any parts of Magnus' heart that had withered in their separation now bloomed with a glowing and vibrant vitality. Magnus was rejuvenated by the fervent caress of Alec's lips and the intense hold he had on Magnus' hips.  

 

Alec pulled him fully into the loft, shut the door, and gently pushed Magnus up against the wood. Magnus stared at him in this brief pause and he felt absolutely hypnotized by every inch of Alec. Magnus saw magic in the slow descent of his lashes, the burning passion in his eyes, the perfect cupid's bow of his lip. 

 

Magnus let his hand travel to the nape of his lover's neck and he pulled him in for a slower kiss. It was tender and filled with a special sort of certainty; this overpowering, deep-rooted adoration wasn't ever going away. In that moment, Magnus knew that they were eternal. 

 

When Magnus needed to catch his breath, he remained close. He tucked his head into the crook of Alec's shoulder and closed his eyes. After months of missing him, Magnus couldn't imagine anything that felt more right than this quiet embrace. 

 

"You were right," Alec whispered as he twined their hands together. 

 

"Hm?"

 

"This,  _ you,  _ are the best gift I'll ever get in my life."

 

Magnus squeezed Alec's hands. Magnus knew that he felt, and would always feel, the exact same way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed, please let me know what you think in the comments or hit kudos/subscribe. Feel free to check out some of my other stories too! <3
> 
> Check me out on twitter: @ abbynormal63


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